Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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