like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
