He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize