Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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