we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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