3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
