party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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