we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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