escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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