I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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