the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Small penises have feelings too.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
