I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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