how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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