i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
