i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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