So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
