you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
