Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
