Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
