Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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