Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
