Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
