Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
