My hand turned me down
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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