Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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