your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
