Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
