I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
