I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
