In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
