would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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