Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize