so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
