it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
