Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
