just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
