so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
