My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
