I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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