dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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