What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
