White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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