all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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