I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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