No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
