at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
