well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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