I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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