got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i think my cat just said my name.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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