some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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