bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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