I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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