It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
