she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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