Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
