Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
