never play flip cup with pint glasses
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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