I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
