She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize