All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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