my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
