you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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