When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
