We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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