I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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