So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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