I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
