big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We are two peas in an std pod
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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