"it" just moved
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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