I'm jealous of your bromance
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
