you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
