you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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