eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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