He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
