Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So squirting runs in the family.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The power of my boobs compel you
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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