Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
