just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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