Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
